Horror and Holy Matrimony

Well, the trick-or-treating is done, the over-priced costumes have been put away, scary movies are no longer on every channel, and the Hallmark Channel has moved on from Halloween romance movies to Thanksgiving romance instead. Which means instead of the theme being “City girl comes to small country town and falls in love with pumpkin farmer” it changes to “City girl comes to small country town and falls in love with turkey farmer.” TOTALLY different.

There is one scary thing that sticks around that I wish would go away: The fear of marriage. I feel like marriage has unfairly received a bad reputation in today’s culture. A lot like … clowns, I suppose? Clowns used to bring people joy and happiness and now they are one of the creepiest things you could dress up as.

Marriage was once a longed for milestone in one’s life, but has somehow turned into something that one must run from as long as possible. (Until is catches you. AHHHH!!). It’s like in the horror movies where some lumbering psycho killer is chasing everyone around. And as in the horror movies where we yell, “RUN! DON’T DO IT!” at the idiots on the screen as they investigate the mysterious sound in the basement, we now yell, “RUN! DON’T DO IT!” to any young person who even thinks about marriage. Marriage has become the villain of fun, freedom, and your youth. And I am sick of it. We need to start fighting back for marriage. Contrary to popular belief, marriage can actually be enjoyable.

I’m so thankful to have grown up with parents who talked about their marriage as though it was the best decision they ever made in their lives. My parents married right out of high school, 18 years old, uneducated, broke, and clueless. Their marriage was the first big decision in their adulthood, and they would talk about marriage in such a positive way that both my sister and I also married young. My sister at 19 and myself at 21. I was the first person in my family to make it to my 20s still single. In fact, I think when I turned 20 and remained single my parents were holding prayer meetings for me. “Dear Lord, help this poor boy find a wife!” Well, their prayers were answered, and I found an amazing woman and I asked her to marry me after four months of dating. Seventeen years and four kids later, we wouldn’t have done it any other way.

Now I’m not saying that you have to get married super young, I’m just saying … STOP being afraid! Stop looking at marriage as some life-sucking union where joy and freedom go to die. If you’re a single person who only hears about the horrors of marriage, then you need to get around some more happily married people. Listen to them, learn from them, and change your perspective. And if you are someone who is happily married, then you need to start speaking up. Find the young single people in your life and speak to them. Share with them what a great marriage looks like. Plant in them a seed of longing and excitement towards marriage like my parents did for me. Together we can take back the view of marriage. The clowns are on their own though.